Spirits, Spells, and Snark by Kelly McCullough

Author:Kelly McCullough
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends

12

The Fickle Fingers of Fate

THE SKIN OF Dave’s new hand was slick and reflective, covered with slithering rainbows, like gasoline floating on dark water. To say nothing of the extra finger …

I spotted the differences a good second ahead of Dave and had time to look up and watch his expression as he realized what had happened. It made my heart hurt as he went from the beginnings of melting into a puddle of relief to openmouthed horror.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…”

“Dave.”

“… AAAAAAAAAAAAAA…”

“DAVE!”

“… AAAAAAAAAAAAAA…”

“DAVID HOWARD HARRIS! You stop that screaming this instant!”

“… AAAAAAAAAAAAAA…”

That’s when the hand slapped him.

“… AAAAAAAH!”

Dave paused, probably more because he was out of air for screaming than anything. But he didn’t start right up again, which was hopeful. “I…” He drew a couple of gasping breaths. “That wasn’t cool, was it?”

“Maybe not,” I replied. “But I can’t say I’d have handled it any better. I … uh, this is a delicate question, but I have to ask. Did you slap yourself? Or was that … the hand?”

“I … I’m not sure.” Dave held the hand up so he could look at it more closely, flexing each of the fingers and the thumb in turn. “I don’t think it was me, but the…” He took a deep breath. “But I felt it on both ends. This palm stings as much as my cheek.”

He looked at his new hand wonderingly and closed it into a tight fist. “From the inside, it feels like it’s all me.” He pressed the palm to his cheek. “Feels pretty much the same from the outside as well. I wish I had my other hand free so I could…”

Dave’s voice trailed off as his right hand reached down to the place where the granite ball encased his left. Touching a point on the ball with all six finger- and thumb-tips, he flicked them apart in the kind of gesture you might use to expand a window on a touch screen. In response, the gap around his wrist suddenly opened wide and he was able to pull his other hand loose.

He immediately used his left hand to seize his right wrist right above the place where human skin met … whatever. “Okay, that definitely wasn’t me.” His words came out a full octave higher than normal. “Nope. Not me at all. Welllllll, not brain me, anyway. Because, I could totally feel it. I could feel all of it.”

The way he said “all” sounded distinctly odd. “All of what, exactly?”

“Everything! I could feel the tug as my hand pulled my arm down to the ball. I could feel the stone against my fingers. I could feel the pulse of *garble* that released the … Wait a second, did I just say *garble*?”

I nodded as much as my neck band would allow. “Yeah, you did. I mean, I don’t recognize the word or the language, or anything, but whatever you said the first time, you definitely repeated it. I … There’s no good way to say this, but whatever that word was, it didn’t even sound … well, human.

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